They say trust your instincts, but sometimes there is a blurred line between our instincts and our fears. I think that feeling lonely is almost difficult to escape even at the brink of company. You feel like you have so many responsibilities and so much to live for, but that fear that eats at you, and always finds a way to make you feel alone. Even at your happiest days you wonder whether you are competent.
Our instincts may tell us that our feelings are wrong. Our fears may be the root of this. Life is as unclear as foggy mirrors that vaporize in the shower. As we draw figures in the mirror we are simply being mindless humans who crave so many things deeply. We are the animals that can’t trust our instincts because our instincts are tantalized with a pool of confusion and emotions. There is nothing more disturbing then being disturbed by your own mind. Our brains are the most sacred organs we have. Our hearts may keep us alive but our brains contain everything. This is where we store the thoughts that keep us sleepless and the thoughts that trigger our solitary. We coexist, yet we are all silent and what we constantly feel is kept locked in our brains. We keep it hidden; in fears of what people will perceive of us. Not only are we the animals that can’t trust instincts but we are also the animals that care more of how we are viewed than how we feel.
To feel is a silent dream and a voiceless pain. You are consolidated to your own eternal darkness. Is it a right of passage to be happy? So many people ache the same pain. These feelings of helplessness, incompetence, lonely, and feeling unloved haunt us all. We all lack the power to control how we feel. For these things creep on us like silent killers. Our instinctive brain will question our prudence. Our lack of judgment will alter our path and all we can do is hope that somewhere down the line it gets better. That perhaps, there is a reason to all and that feeling this will only teach us of how to be happy, secure, enough and loved. Somewhere down the line we will feel enough because even through fog you can still see. Still see that you are enough,competent and worthy.