I wish none of it mattered. I wish that the world didn’t seem so eager to dismantle my being. I wish that the world didn’t crepitate every time I decided to speak. I feel like the sound of my voice is mute while trying to understand what I can’t see but only feel. Sitting in the darkness; feeling the cold air rattle my bones and freeze time. I feel like I am caught in the shadows of what should be and lost in the thought of things I cannot change. I feel like the words have lost power and their meaning has dissipated into the air. I feel like none of it should matter but here I am counting and praying it all does.