I think about you everyday. I feel like you are the only person who sees the war inside me. I toss and turn at night, wondering what your new life is like. What’s it like? Are the rumors true? Is living in paradise truly all that? But every single day you seem farther away. I carry you in my wrist, as if you were rushing through my veins. I hug my pillow, like a child hugs a bear. Looking for comfort and warmth in something that isn’t even really there. You’re the only memory I revisit everyday. When, I graduate I will walk up with you on stage. I will hold my diploma as I hold you inside. When, I get married I will walk with you on the opposite side of my father. You will hold on tight till we see my husband on the other side. When I have my first child, you will be in the room smiling at the face of my infant. When, I grow old and can no longer walk, you will push my wheelchair as I did with yours. One day if I’m lucky, I will trace your moles and scars one more time. I will smile at you and no longer have to miss you.


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