I have love
Love that is promised like the moon rising every night but each time a little different
I have hope
My whole life has been beautiful and even when it wasn’t I managed to be beautiful
I have health
My body works tirelessly to make sure I can dream all my dreams and write all my poems.
I have myself and the way I nourish every part of my being will be my greatest accomplishment.
I told myself you will learn
That my past told stories
It was Just the source of my beginning
I told myself you will never accept love that isn’t complete
But somehow I found myself once again unable to leave a place I knew so well
The walls were freshly painted but it was still the same walls
The furniture smelled different but looked the same
the ground was still uneven and balance was impossible
He was still him
The past sometimes likes to find itself in the present.
Sometimes I sit still
In that stillness I find every piece of me and greet it
I’ve heard that’s how self love begins.
“Do you still look for him when you’re with me?”
I wonder how do I split a lie out of the truth?
How do I pretend that my eyes didn’t just whisper his name?
How do I convince my tongue to say I only want you?
The most beautiful thing about being heartbroken is realizing that despite everything you’ll always be okay.
The thought of you clings to my skin like coconut oil. These memories run their fingers down my body hoping I never escape them.
Sometimes I leave in the middle of a poem
I let my mind ferment
Bask in my heart
Glide with silence
And my return becomes a new arrival