My grandmother, came to me in a dream. Her words were pouring like syrup. We look nothing alike but we are so alike. Her scent one of my favorite fragrances. Her hands my second home. Her voice filling a whole room. She was mix of rough and soft. A combination of love and water. She reminds me that a woman can change a life. She tells me I’m an army of them.
I cannot be like the moon and only shine enough so that you can be the sun.
My greatest adventure…
Becoming the wind in the storm
Learning all land is born in the sea
Realizing our story is the best one to read.
I understand you.
The way your heart and mind are in a constant war.
How your thoughts become autoimmune.
The way you become comfortable in pain because it feels so familiar.
I understand what its like to swallow so many words theres books growing inside.
I know what its like to find shelter in between each word.
As if safety is when you write.
-Write your pain
It is tough sitting in the rain everyday. Battling your mind and reliving all that destroys your insides. To be soaked in pain and lost in vain. Looking at your hands and wondering what they were destined to make. Looking at your legs wondering where they were meant to go. Looking at your reflection wondering who that is. The rain taught me to wait. To wait for beauty to arise from tragedy. To wait for the sunshine that will warm my hands, kiss my legs and burn in my soul. I’ll dance in the rain with my daisy chain, as the water blends with my tears and the fear will simply dissipatates.
There was nothing calm about us.Yet, we stuck around like Jam and honey. In the pain we found comfort and in the madness we found brilliance. Staying in flames was better than being without one another. The only direction we know was the one that lead to each other. We were chaos and we loved it. We were so different and it drove us insane. The way the world would collapse and regenerate at once, the way we could see the future and past in one moment, and the way we could never give up. It was wild and for that it was worth fighting for.
I stayed in the darkest corners. My soul disappeared into my deepest pain. He slit my throat and stole my words. My body was numb and my heart was dry. Only light I saw was when I closed my eyes. I forgot about gravity and my body flipped with every rotation of the earth. My eyelids were heavy and my lips were full of cuts. The world he gave me crumbled and I slept on top of the destruction. I cried into the ocean and spoke to God. I found Jesus before I found the devil. He told me to make my own water and to part the seas. I delivered myself from evil, and covered the cuts with salt. The pain would evade but my soul was forever changed. I was alive, resurrected from the pain.I conquered my demons with nothing but my bare hand. In their grave they laid, along with all my doubt and sorrow. I gasped for air no longer afraid.