I told myself you will learn
That my past told stories
It was Just the source of my beginning
I told myself you will never accept love that isn’t complete
But somehow I found myself once again unable to leave a place I knew so well
The walls were freshly painted but it was still the same walls
The furniture smelled different but looked the same
the ground was still uneven and balance was impossible
He was still him
The past sometimes likes to find itself in the present.
Sometimes I sit still
In that stillness I find every piece of me and greet it
I’ve heard that’s how self love begins.
“Do you still look for him when you’re with me?”
I wonder how do I split a lie out of the truth?
How do I pretend that my eyes didn’t just whisper his name?
How do I convince my tongue to say I only want you?
The most beautiful thing about being heartbroken is realizing that despite everything you’ll always be okay.
I’m listening to our favorite album
Not because I miss you
But because I miss the moment that made this album special
I’m reminded of how easily I can make love last even when it’s gone
I can turn a song into a feeling
I can turn an album into a tunnel that connects me to you.
I tell myself
I must listen
The same way I wait for the moons prayers
I tell myself you must love
The same way my mother did when she taught me how to catch my breath
I tell myself you must enjoy
The same way my grandfather listens to music in his coveted chair
I tell myself you must learn to forgive
The same way you learned to love, without any conditions.
Every ending leads to nostalgia
Inside her lives a mountain of memories and a lifetime of hopes and what ifs.